I swore that I would not take this trip in this blog, but I cannot help but to because I am just me and I cannot be anything else and the sooner I deal with it ... The better off I will be. I seem to be going threw some kind of sadness or something that I am beginning to find really disturbing because I really cannot stand feeling that way .. It makes the daily challenges even worse.
I am sitting here at 6:00 am and trying to figure out why I cannot sleep. I went to bed at midnight and I was laying there wide awake by 3:00 am. I generally do not have a lot of trouble sleeping except for when something is bothering me.
I have not been feeling all that wonderful for about a month now. I got really sick at the beginning of Nov. and I got over everything but the ear infection ... and than the real winter has not shown it's self ... and I have discovered a whole new pain that I am really trying to deal with ... and I think it might be winning because I have not been in all that wonderful of a mood either.
I knew I had arthritis in my left knee after my surgery this past summer, but I did not realize the extent of it until this past week. I think I could have easily hurt the first person that pushed me to the breaking point and not even cared about it. I have been dealing with the arthritis in my right leg and ankle since my accident that caused this issue in 2001, and I have learned to live with it, but now the issue with left knee is added ... and I really do not know which way is up or down. I talked to my orthopedic doctor and he has given me a medication for arthritis pain to try to see if it will help so I can get threw day to day activities .. Time will tell.
I don't know .. Maybe it is just the pain level doing a number on me, but I cannot even walk around enough to do what makes the world right again ... Take pictures ... I may have to find myself a new winter hobby after we get moved into the new apartment ... because if this keeps up the way it's going ... The camera may get a long winters break.