I swore to myself when I started this blog I was not going to get too personal, but I really just need to get something off my mind so I can try to go back to bed. I got a phone call at about 11pm tonight (07/11/09) from a family member that was so drunk and my guess was looking to hurt someone ... Well I guess I was the target. I normally do not answer the phone in the middle of the night, but this person has known health issues, and I am the closet relative with any say so and I thought at this hour something was wrong, and apparently it was me. I should by all rights not care two beans about this person, they have caused me nothing but pain for the last 16 years of my life, but that is just not the way I am.
I was called just to be reminded about the abuse I suffered as a child by someone that I worshipped until the last time it happened to me. I was removed from the situation and placed in a series of foster homes to deal with the after affects a lone, but I was willing to let it all go and try again after 16 years, just to get it tossed at me that the whole thing was my fault. I just sat there crying listening to this, I started having a panic attack remembering exactly what happened and thinking ... why can't he just stop doing this to me. I know I let him call me, so that is my fault, but for him to call me to do this is mean.
The last time he was drunk he fell and busted his head open on his motorcycle ... My brother and I went to the hospital he was taken to and spent over 14 hours trying to convince these people to release him to us and I almost went to jail for defending him. I think I need to stop this from happening, but this person was once very important to me. I don't know what to do, I just know I feel hurt all over again.